My Father, My Hero

I remember my father. The memories of him lingers in my thoughts as I think back of what he's given me throughout the years since he's passed.

My father died on June 20, 1996.

There were so many things I wanted to tell him before he died.

Dad, did you know that you're my hero?

Dad, did you know that I looked up to you?

Dad, did you know that I will always love you with all my heart?

Dad, thank you for being so patient with me. Thank you for always giving me the benefit of the doubt even though I didn't deserve it at times. There were times when you were disappointed at the things I did, the choices I made - but I knew that you still loved me, no matter what.

My father was a loving man. He worried alot and didn't like some of the choices I made growing up. I didn't understand why he held on to me so tight. I didn't understand why he never showed his emotions. I didn't understand why he was angry. My father, rarely showed his emotions, and when he did, it would be an angry emotion. My father was a family man. He worked hard to take care of his wife and his five children.

I remember when I was about 8 years old, when my father would go up and down the escalator with me. I remember the bart train rides back and forth, and never really getting off the trains (LOL). I remember when I was about 14 years old, when we were sitting down facing each other and began to laugh for no reason. We laughed, and laughed, and laughed - my mother thought we were going crazy. I will never forget the things he did for me. The times he would give me rides to school.

I wish I can physically hug him again. I love you dad...

I miss my father so much as a physical being. I'm happy that I can still communicate with him. I didn't understand him at times, but now, I can... He's asked for my forgiveness, but I also ask for his. There are times I wish I had the chance to go back in time and tell him all the things I want him to know. Lessons learned.

I know now that my dad is proud of me. I know now that my father watches over me and guides me to do the right things in life. I thank him for always being around.

Papa, I love you - always!

Happy Halloween!

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As we enjoy Halloween day, please remember your friends and relatives who have crossed over. Send them good thoughts and remember to keep them in your prayers.

Halloween is a time to honor and pay attention to the lessons that your ancestors have given you. Halloween is a time for meditating on what gifts your loved ones have left you.

We celebrate what our ancestors have given us. We remember the dead and know that our children will remember us. This allows us to celebrate LIFE.

Past Life Regression: Leadership & Bravery

It's been a while since I posted. I've been happily busy with getting certified in Hypnotherapy that I haven't had the chance to post. Okay, enough excuses and let's get started...

This past weekend I had a past life regression through hypnosis. I didn't think it could work, but of course, it did! I was guided to find a vehicle of my choice and go back in time to another life....

Here's how it went down:

I saw myself in some kind of time machine. The inside looked like a scene from Back To The Future where there were digital numbers of the years and lots of buttons. When I was guided to get out of the vehicle, I stepped out. I looked down at my feet and saw boots made of rawhide material. I looked at my clothes and realized that I was a man. I wore long pants and a long sleeve V-neck top. My neck was covered with beads. My face was painted but not sure how it looked, but I knew that my face was painted. I was asked if there were anyone there. I noticed it was night time, and there was a large bonfire in the center. I saw many people looking at me with fear. I could see their faces and they were waiting for me to decide. I realized that we were being under attack by another tribe and I was the leader for my tribe. They wanted to hear from their leader about what to do next. I knew that if I decided to go into battle everyone in my tribe were going to get killed. I decided that I sacrifice myself to the other tribe so that my tribe would not get attacked. During this whole time in hypnosis, I was crying hard... Tears just kept coming down my face. I was scared but I knew I what I had to do. I had to be brave. The next thing I saw was me going forward and meeting the other tribe. I watched arrows hit me and I was killed instantly.

It was so powerful! I was so amazed with how clear the vision was. I didn't understand why I was shown that time of my past life, but I knew that there's a reason for that. I thought about all evening Saturday, and when I woke up Sunday morning, I understood...

My spirit guide has guided me to help others. Some of the things I've been told was to lead and be brave. I have had a fear of public speaking for many, many years. Through hypnosis, and my willingness to overcome the issue, I have learned to face it. I can't honestly tell you that I'm not exactly completely over it but I have improved quite a bit. I was shown in my past life I'm a leader, and I'm brave - I've been there already. I can do it again... except less the arrows, of course (Yikes!).... I can be brave and I can also be a leader, to enlighten people's lives in many ways.

Stereotype Psychic: Please don't judge a book by its cover!

Is this what a psychic really looks like?

When I see some of my clients for the first time, I notice the surprise look in their faces when I open the door. I find it remarkable how many people expect a middle aged woman wearing a loose fitting dress with bangles, earings, and of course, the turban to open the door to greet them!

One of my clients asked me: "Hi, is your mother home?" When I told her that I'm Maria Haswell - she paused for a second, and looked at me up and down before she politely reached her hand out and said "Nice to meet you, I didn't expect you to be so normal."

I live in the suburbs and I consider my house to be warm and inviting with modern art hanging on walls. I don't have a colorful beaded curtain, a crystal ball, and definitely a loose fitting dress like the one you see on the picture above. I have two awesome kids (12 & 14), a husband in the software business, and a really cool dog (Shepherd mix). I consider myself a typical family house mom who cooks dinner for their family (sometimes), drive the kids around (sometimes), and do wife duties (sometimes) - LOL! I have everyday normal issues like everyone else.

One of my clients said to me the other day when I met him was that he was expecting an older lady with long gray hair, wearing a long dress with birkenstocks on. It made me laugh but it also made me think about how many people stereotype psychics, mediums, tarot readers like me out there... I wonder if I wore "the part" would I get more clients? Then as quickly as I wonder it stops because I know that I have to be ME. I'm proud to be who I am and what I represent. It is definitely entertaining sometimes to see clients surprised - I just laugh and I say - "Please don't judge a book by its cover!"

I end my post with a quote by Travis Smiley:
"Take your focus off of how others see you. Cease being obsessed with the need to impress your friends and your foes. Keep your concern on the vision you see in the mirror. Don't allow the approval of others to obstruct your view of you."