My Father, My Hero

I remember my father. The memories of him lingers in my thoughts as I think back of what he's given me throughout the years since he's passed.

My father died on June 20, 1996.

There were so many things I wanted to tell him before he died.

Dad, did you know that you're my hero?

Dad, did you know that I looked up to you?

Dad, did you know that I will always love you with all my heart?

Dad, thank you for being so patient with me. Thank you for always giving me the benefit of the doubt even though I didn't deserve it at times. There were times when you were disappointed at the things I did, the choices I made - but I knew that you still loved me, no matter what.

My father was a loving man. He worried alot and didn't like some of the choices I made growing up. I didn't understand why he held on to me so tight. I didn't understand why he never showed his emotions. I didn't understand why he was angry. My father, rarely showed his emotions, and when he did, it would be an angry emotion. My father was a family man. He worked hard to take care of his wife and his five children.

I remember when I was about 8 years old, when my father would go up and down the escalator with me. I remember the bart train rides back and forth, and never really getting off the trains (LOL). I remember when I was about 14 years old, when we were sitting down facing each other and began to laugh for no reason. We laughed, and laughed, and laughed - my mother thought we were going crazy. I will never forget the things he did for me. The times he would give me rides to school.

I wish I can physically hug him again. I love you dad...

I miss my father so much as a physical being. I'm happy that I can still communicate with him. I didn't understand him at times, but now, I can... He's asked for my forgiveness, but I also ask for his. There are times I wish I had the chance to go back in time and tell him all the things I want him to know. Lessons learned.

I know now that my dad is proud of me. I know now that my father watches over me and guides me to do the right things in life. I thank him for always being around.

Papa, I love you - always!