No Need For Worries

"A person (usually a child) who cannot sleep due to worrying can express their worries to a doll and place it under their pillow before going to sleep. According to folklore, the doll is thought to worry in the person's place, thereby permitting the person to sleep peacefully. The person will wake up without their worries, which have been taken away by the dolls during the night." - Wiki

We have all had the experience of worrying about something at some point in our lives. Some of us have a habitual tendency to worry. We have all known someone in our lives who constantly worries at some time or another. Perhaps it could be the person you see in front of the mirror.

In order for worry to exist, we have to imagine that something bad might happen. We worry about stuff that hasn’t happened but we create this unreality in our mind.

Worry is another word for fear. Fear comes from our own ego. It is a state of needless fear. Still, most of us worry. Worrying creates an unpleasant effect on your body, mind, and spirit.

There are many different ways of worrying. For example, you might worry about your loved ones driving home in bad weather. Knowing that there is absolutely nothing you can do to guarantee their safe trip, you continue to worry until you finally hear that they've reached their destination safe and unharmed.

The next time you find yourself worrying, imagine the best result instead of anticipating the worst outcome.

Visualize your loved ones’ path surrounded in white light and clearly see in your mind’s eye their safe arrival. Call out angels or guides and ask them to watch over your loved ones as they make their way home. Generate peace and well-being instead of nervousness and unease within yourself.

Keep in mind that worrying does nothing to ensure a positive outcome. Remember that the Universe is always listening – It’s the law of attraction! Be aware of your thoughts at all times.

The Interview With God Poem

The Interview With God Poem

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled.

“My time is eternity.”

“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...

“That they get bored with childhood,they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...

“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgiveby practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most,but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly. "Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said...

“Just know that I am here... always.”

-author unknown

My Cute Teacher: Charlie

Animals As Teachers

There is so much we can learn from animals. Unlike human teachers, animals can only impart their wisdom by example. We learn by observing them. An animal teacher can be a pet or an animal in the wilderness.

Animals teach us in a variety of ways about behavior, habit, and instinct. House pets represent an unconditional love no matter what our shape, size, age, race, or gender is. They care little for the differences between us and them and simply enjoy loving and being loved. Our pets encourage us to let our guards down, have fun, and take advantage of every opportunity to enjoy life.

Animals teach us about life, death, survival, sacrifice, and responsibility. If you find yourself drawn to a particular animal, ask yourself which of its traits you find most fascinating and think about how you might mimic those traits. Animals express themselves with abandon, freedom, and integrity. It’s natural to be drawn to the wisdom offered by our animal teachers.

Life Lessons: Live it Now!

Sometimes, we may find ourselves wishing we knew what our lives would look like in the future. We may be eager to find out what gifts and challenges are presented to us in the coming months or years. For some of us, we may want to know if the relationship we’re in now will last or if our goals will be recognized. Perhaps we feel like we need help making a decision and we want to know which choice will work out best. We may consult psychics, tarot cards, our dreams, and many other sources in the hopes of finding out what the future holds. I believe that even though we think we would like to know the future in all its details, the truth is that we would probably be overwhelmed and exhausted if we knew everything that is going to happen to us before we actually live it.

Take a moment to look at your life as you’ve lived it up to this point. If you are like most of us, you probably have done more and faced more than you could have ever thought you could accomplish or learn. If someone had told you as a kid of all the jobs and relationships you would experience, along with every ups and downs in your life, you would have become overwhelmed. With your head full of information about the future, you would have had a very hard time experiencing your life in the present moment, which is where everything actually transpire.

In many ways, not knowing what the future has in store brings out in us the qualities we need to grow and learn. For example, it would’ve been difficult to commit yourself to certain people or projects if you knew they wouldn’t ultimately work out. Although, realize that through your commitment to see them through that you experienced the lessons you needed to grow. In truth, your most challenging experiences with their life lessons may have ultimately brought you the greatest rewards. Not knowing the future keeps us just where we need to be—fully living life and in the present moment.

Mirror Me : Mirror You

Reflections of Me

We Are All Mirrors for Each Other

When we look at other people, we see many of their qualities in different ways and sometimes, random combinations. However, the qualities that we see in the people around us are directly related to the traits that exist within us.

"Like attracts like" is one of the spiritual laws of the universe. We attract individuals into our lives that mirror who we are. Those you feel drawn to reflect your inner self back at you, and you act as a mirror for them. For example, when you look at others, you will likely see what exists within you. When you see beauty, love, peace, or light in the soul of a person, you are seeing the goodness that resides in your soul. When you see traits in others that have the feelings of anger, annoyance, or hatred, you may be seeing the reflection back at you. Perhaps it’s those parts of yourself that you do not like much. Because we all mirror each other, look at the people in your life. It can probably tell you a lot about yourself. It’s easy to see the traits you may not like in others. It’s much more of a challenge to realize that you possess those same traits.

When you come into contact with someone you admire, search your soul for those similar admirable traits. Likewise, when you meet someone showing traits that you dislike, accept that you may be looking at your own reflection. Looking at yourself through your perception of others may be a humbling and eye-opening experience.

Be loving and respectful to all people, and you will attract individuals that will love and respect you back. Nurture compassion and empathy and let the goodness you see in others be your mirror.

Be Ready

Below is the sermon by Rev. Mary Elyn Bahlert from Lake Merritt United Methodist church, in Oakland, CA - I just wanted to share with you the message...

Be Ready

Isaiah 40:1-11
Mark 1:1-8
by: Rev. Mary Elyn Bahlert

"Prepare the Way of the Lord"

The prophet Isaiah said it this way: "In the desert prepare the way for the Lord; Make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God."

Hundreds of years later, John the Baptist - who arrives out of the wilderness into the scriptures of Advent each years - said it this way, quoting Isaiah: "I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way a voice of one calling in the desert, Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for Him."

This Advent season, you are invited to "be." Not simply to "do," because most of us know how to "do" things. Instead, to "be."

The Greek sea god, Proteus, was (like the sea) capable of changing form in an instant. In order to get any decent information out of him, you had to grab him and hold on tight while he went through his various forms - lion, wild boar, snake, tree, running stream - it wasn't easy. The verb "To be" is said to be the most protean of the English language, constantly changing form, sometimes without much of a discernible pattern. Considering that we use it so often, it is really too bad that the verb "To be" has to be the most irregular, slippery verb in the language.
And today you are invited to "be ready." How do you "be ready"?

A story: "While on one of his expeditions to the Antarctic, Sir Ernest Shackleton left some of his sailors on Elephant Island with the intent of returning for them and taking them back to England. He was delayed. By the time Shakleton and his ship returned, the sea had frozen and he had no access to Elephant Island. Three times he tried to reach them, prevented by the ice from succeeding. Finally, on his fourth try, he broke through the ice and navigated a narrow channel to save the men.When he arrived at Elephant Island, he was surprised to find the crew waiting for him, supplies packed and ready to board. They were soon on their way back to England. He asked them how they had known to be ready for them. They told him they hadn't known when he would return, but they was sure he would return for them. Every morning, the leader rolled up his bag and packed his gear and told the crew to do the same, saying, "Get your things ready, boys. The boss is coming today."

As I thought about this scripture, I remember in my own life the time before I left the Midwest to come to seminary here in California. I knew I was starting a new life, and I didn't know what that life would hold for me. I expected to return to Wisconsin - God willing - but I didn't know when. So I spent time thinking about my life and the relationships I was leaving, for the time being, in the Midwest. I remember having certain conversations with friends, clearing up misunderstandings, and saying "I'm sorry," or "I'm glad you are my friend." In a sense, I reviewed my life as I began my new life.

Who among us knows when this life - the life we are living now - may end? Who among us knows when we will draw our last breath? As people, we always face the possibility of death, and to "be ready" for death - to meet our Maker, in the old expression - we would do well to take time to look at our life and our relationships, to "be ready"?

Are you treating those you love as you want to treat them? Are you demanding, when you could be accepting? Are you allowing others to be who they are? Including your children? Are you accepting of those around you, forgiving them for their foibles, their humanity, and forgiving yourself, as well? If you left here today and couldn't say another "good bye," are your relationships in the place you want them to be?

Are you living the life you want to be living, or are you always "saving for a rainy day"? Have you put off saying "I love you, "out of pride or fear? Is there a relationship you know has not been good for a long time, and you have been afraid to leave? Be Ready.

As people, we live as if there will always be tomorrow. On another level, we know that may not be so. When we live that way, we live in denial of the reality of life - and death.

If you are going through difficult times this holiday season, remember to Be Ready. Be Ready for the return of the Light in the Darkness. Those in faith know that the light is already present, is already here, and we must ready ourselves, throw off our barriers and our resistances, to let the Light in.

Be Ready implies a sure-ness, a trust in God's goodness. Be Ready implies that when you offer your prayer to God - it is surely heard and is already being answered.

As people of faith, we can practice the Advent message of "Be Ready" by holding the sure and solid hope that all things are well. However things look on the surface, if God is active in this world, if God is surely present even in the most difficult of times, then we can be joyful and trusting and hopeful - in a word, ready - no matter how things may look to us.

Sometimes our attitude towards things is surprising. We can speak eloquently about our faith, but we groan about everything else. The two don't go together. I'm sure many of us remember the 1980's, when it was popular to spend years in therapy complaining and lamenting the dysfunctional families we grew up in. And trust me - we all did, to some degree! But there comes a time in life when we need to get over these things, and live into the lives we were meant to give. There comes a time when we can say: "yes, I had it tough, but now I'm an adult, and I can make my own life as I choose."

Several weeks ago I attended a service where people were invited to move ahead in their lives, to live into the change and the new-ness they desired. One woman spoke up: "but I had such a difficult childhood, I was so abused, and I spent so many years as an addict. Now, when I try to move ahead, I am filled with oceans and oceans of anger." The leader listened, and then responded: "so you've quantified your anger. You could have made it little, but you've made it big. It's time to move into your new life."

Be Ready. Whoever you are, whatever is happening in your life today, be ready. Live the life you were meant to live. Live with the sure hope and trust that God is shaping you and your life and the life of the world exactly as it is meant to be.

Be Ready.

Angels Among Us

During each of our journeys, there are those inevitable moments when someone comes into our life at precisely the right time and says or does precisely the right thing. Their words or actions may help us perceive ourselves more clearly, remind us that everything will turn out for the best, help us cope, or see us through difficult situations. These people are human angels – individuals designated by the universe to be of service to those in need at specific points in time. Some human angels make a commitment before their births to make a positive contribution to the world at a particular moment. Others were chosen by the universe. All human angels, however, come into our lives when we least expect them and when we can most benefit from their presence.


A few of the human angels we may encounter are in professions where helping others is an everyday occurrence. But most of them are regular people, going about their daily lives until called upon to be in the right place at the right time to bring peace, joy, help, or heal someone when they most need it. You may have met a human angel in the form of a teacher who gave you a piece of advice that touched your soul and influenced your path. The person that momentarily stopped you to say hello on the street, delaying you long enough to avoid an oncoming car or a collision, is also a human angel. They may offer nothing more than a kind word or a smile, but they will offer it when you can draw the most strength and support from their simple action.

You may be a human angel yet not know it. Your fate or intuition may guide you toward other people’s challenging or distressing situations, leading you to infer that you simply have bad luck. But recognizing yourself as a human angel can help you deal with the pain you see and understand that you are there to help and comfort others during their times of need. Human angels give of their inner light to all who need it, coming into our lives and often changing us forever. Their task has its challenges, but it is they that have the power to teach, bring us joy, and comfort us in times of despair.

Prosperity

Why do people have trouble with prosperity?

Many of you automatically think of prosperity as something primarily financial. However, this is simply not so. Prosperity encompasses much more than money.

In fact prosperity is synonymous with self-esteem. Prosperity is manifesting what you feel you are worth.

It is success by your standards: it could mean lying in the sun for an hour a day without having to feel you should be somewhere else; knowing that you can lie there and congratulate yourself on having your life so well handled that lying in the sun is a celebration.

Prosperity or havingness (the ability to have) is a pervasive thing. You limit your success according what you think you are worth. This occurs unconsciously and it so happens that you have that level of success or richness of relationships that matches your self-esteem.

Imagine a family with low self-esteem winning a million dollars in a lottery. Within twelve months it is all gone and they are back to the old lifestyle. They couldn't have that level of success because their self-esteem was not high enough. Their energy level could not contain the huge increase. Limits to prosperity are imposed by the false personality and come from fear.

There are real and specific fears of what may happen to you if you have high, high havingness.
For instance, people kill other people for their possessions. If you don't have much you won't get killed. One can look at the specific fears in your conscious mind and dispose of them. The converse of this is that if you love yourself then all things are possible. So, prosperity is about feeling worthy enough to have life be the way you want it.

On this account prosperity fills lack; lack of time, lack of things, lack of relationships, lack of love, lack of creativity, and so on. Prosperity is then about having an abundance of anything you wish you had more of, including more spiritual insight.

Prosperity and Higher Centers

Spiritual prosperity, as with spiritual power, has to do with being in higher centers, gaining that distanced perspective on yourself and your life to see how it all fits together. It is about feeling a sense of oneness with other people. Not surprisingly, prosperity is a matter of how you handle the three components of the higher centers and of the universe -- truth, love, and energy.

Truth

The focus of higher intellectual center is truth. Prosperity is a matter of having truth in your life. You can tell the truth to your friends and family and they can tell the truth to you. This is the prosperity that truth bestows. When you have told the truth and have heard the truth you can then act on it. You can then decide what relationships you want in your life. When you tell yourself the truth about your job, you can decide to change it or to keep it. Having done this weeding out you are automatically a more powerful person. You are not spending time with people you don't want to, so you have more time and more energy. In short you have higher havingness. Having seen where you fit in, you can then see the whole, and open yourself up as a spirit without boundaries to your guides, channeling, and connectedness, and away from pain, fear, and suffering. From this space you can make powerful choices.

Love

Remember that higher emotional center manifests unconditional love. Prosperity is dependent on having more love in your life. It is about feeling that you deserve it and loving yourself enough to let yourself have it. Fear blocks higher havingness levels and the remedy is learning how to love yourself. Love yourself and all things are possible.

Energy

Prosperity is about having the energy to manifest what you want. The energetic quality of the higher moving center makes the integration of truth and love possible. When truth and love work together in your life, you can become as prosperous as you wish. Remember the example of the family with low self esteem who could not take advantage of their good fortune. The energy of higher moving center raises your capacity to have, do, and be more.

Becoming More Prosperous

In order to become more prosperous in an integrated way, balance is required. There must be inspiration, expression, action, and assimilation. Inspiration needs action. Action needs expression. Expression requires assimilation first, and so on. All are interrelated. Each axis must come into play. When satisfying prosperity is blocked, usually one of these four axes have not come into play. Imagine that you are inspired by a vision of what you want your life to be like. You assimilate the vision and express it to other people. However without a plan of action it is unlikely that your vision will manifest to any degree. Likewise if you go into action without an inspirational vision you will probably only manifest chaos.

What To Do

The following is a pragmatic step-by-step approach to having, doing, and being more in your life.
Work out exactly what you want and write it down as a series of goals. Create positive affirmations about these, stating them in present terms, as "I am now enjoying wonderful health and good relationships." This will instantly bring up the negative beliefs that have held you back in this area. Those beliefs can then be listed, acknowledged, and let go of. New positive affirmations can take the place of each one.

Regularly visualize mentally being the way you want to, having what you want, doing what you want. Persist in doing this despite current circumstances and absence of immediate results. It takes time for thoughts to manifest on the physical plane. Make a plan of how to meet the goals. Check off each step as accomplished.

Limitations to Prosperity

Know what your comfort zone is. Pushing beyond your comfort zone and having more can be quite uncomfortable, believe it or not. Do you truly want another forty thousand a year? Do you truly want a committed love relationship? Are you prepared to handle whatever discomfort comes with it? Ask yourself first? "Can I have it?"

Look at what you have to give up to get above the comfort zone limits of your ego. List the items. Look at how other people rely on you to not increase your havingness. If you do it, they will have to look at theirs because they are often competitive. This may make them angry with you. You need to give up the belief that you can't have it.

Note that your ego simply wants to be right.

There are two attitudes to money:

Spend now and trust - make the space for it. (positive)

Expense control - governed by the fear of running out (negative)

Note that these work in a kind of dynamic tension with one another. One does not work without the other. Look at the structure of the universe. Does anything run out? No, it doesn't. The law of the universe is that it will replace whatever you spend. What you sow you shall reap.

Look at your experience. You can run low on things and stay there, but you never actually run out. You never actually starve to death unless you have specifically chosen an environment to promote this experience. You can trust in this process. One of the governing principles of this teaching is neutrality, that is, not hanging on to things. There may be pleasures, sadness, money, or whatever. The aim is to experience them as they occur. Let them in and let them out. Often people dealing in huge sums of money work no harder than those in menial jobs. The energy input is the same. The difference is in the mental tapes they play. Their beliefs about money are different. One believes you have to work hard for a little of it. The other believes you can have lots of it for relatively little effort. They make it fun. They don't seek to hold on to money. They are philosophical about it. They work hard at working out what they want, and persist until they get there.

Authors Details: José Stevens

Family Ties

Family relationships may at times have you reacting emotionally, leaving you feeling moody and uncomfortable.

Since families are so close to us and so central to our lives and our sense of identity, it makes sense that we would be more emotional around them than others.

There are times that we may mistreat our family members because we feel that they are safe havens who won’t abandon us, no matter how badly we behave. But the truth is that because they are so precious to us, we should treat them with greater care and thoughtfulness.

When a family member does abandon us, it has a greater impact than the loss of a friend or acquaintance, because the connections are so profound and multifaceted. Rather than taking your mood out on your family today, you can choose to breathe deeply and appreciate them for their unique lessons and presence in your life. Nobody’s family is perfect, but our families are our best chance for connection.

When the rest of the world isn’t there for us, our families are more likely to support us. Sometimes we find ourselves building our own families, either by marrying and having children or by gathering friends around us to create a family.

Family relationships can be intricate and deeply affecting, but because of this they deepen and enrich our experience of life. Remember to be grateful for our families, both biological and chosen, for all they bring into our lives.

Living Today

"As you listen to the thought, you feel a conscious presence - your deeper self - behind or underneath the thought, as it were. This is the beginning of the end of involuntary and compulsive thinking." - Eckhart Tolle

I've been doing great progress in healing myself and learning to forgive myself and others. It's a working progress and I'm doing my best to live my life in the present moment.

I still look back at my past, not to dwell on the bad times, but to learn from my mistakes. I also look back at the times when I'm happy. I cherish the moments and whenever I look back, I smile.

For years, I've had an awakening of my spiritual existence. I didn't know what was happening. It kind of scared me a little because I was confused. When I'd have these awakening, I would stop what I'm doing and look at my fingers. I stop and think about where I'm at that moment and what my purpose of living is. I would ask my friends if they ever experienced what I described, and none of them seemed to understand me.

My awakening seemed very random. It probably started about 10 years ago. For awhile, it used to be about twice a year. Then as the years pass, it became more frequent. The awakening was very automatic for me. I knew when it happened, but could not understand what it meant.

I finally know now, that what I was experiencing for many years was the power of NOW. I have read/listened to the audio book "The Power of Now" By Eckhart Tolle - and it now makes sense to me. I often wondered if others were feeling the same way as I did. Not one friend understood what I was going through. The only one that understood me was my husband. It's no wonder that we were put together in this lifetime.

For anyone who have not read this book yet, I highly recommend you pick up a copy. It has helped me understand what I've been going through all through the years. It also reminds me of living in the present moment.

I'm learning that there is no need to go back to the past to dwell. The past does not serve a purpose unless you learn from them.

"When you surrender and let go of the past, you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment. Letting go of the past means that you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now."
- DON Miguel Ruiz

Through Forgiveness

"Through forgiveness, which essentially means recognizing the insubstantiality of the past and allowing the present moment to be as it is, the miracle of transformation happens not only within but also without."
- Eckhart Tolle

I've been hearing the word "forgiveness" lately. It seems like it's been a theme these past two weeks for me. I've been working on my own self and giving myself permission to forgive myself for doing the things I did. I forgive myself for doubting myself. I forgive myself for thinking negative thoughts about myself. I forgive myself for having to take on things I could not handle.

I believe that it starts within to forgive, then you can begin to forgive others around. I'm finding out that the sooner you forgive, the easier it is to be in the present moment with yourself and with others.

My Father, My Hero

I remember my father. The memories of him lingers in my thoughts as I think back of what he's given me throughout the years since he's passed.

My father died on June 20, 1996.

There were so many things I wanted to tell him before he died.

Dad, did you know that you're my hero?

Dad, did you know that I looked up to you?

Dad, did you know that I will always love you with all my heart?

Dad, thank you for being so patient with me. Thank you for always giving me the benefit of the doubt even though I didn't deserve it at times. There were times when you were disappointed at the things I did, the choices I made - but I knew that you still loved me, no matter what.

My father was a loving man. He worried alot and didn't like some of the choices I made growing up. I didn't understand why he held on to me so tight. I didn't understand why he never showed his emotions. I didn't understand why he was angry. My father, rarely showed his emotions, and when he did, it would be an angry emotion. My father was a family man. He worked hard to take care of his wife and his five children.

I remember when I was about 8 years old, when my father would go up and down the escalator with me. I remember the bart train rides back and forth, and never really getting off the trains (LOL). I remember when I was about 14 years old, when we were sitting down facing each other and began to laugh for no reason. We laughed, and laughed, and laughed - my mother thought we were going crazy. I will never forget the things he did for me. The times he would give me rides to school.

I wish I can physically hug him again. I love you dad...

I miss my father so much as a physical being. I'm happy that I can still communicate with him. I didn't understand him at times, but now, I can... He's asked for my forgiveness, but I also ask for his. There are times I wish I had the chance to go back in time and tell him all the things I want him to know. Lessons learned.

I know now that my dad is proud of me. I know now that my father watches over me and guides me to do the right things in life. I thank him for always being around.

Papa, I love you - always!

Happy Halloween!

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As we enjoy Halloween day, please remember your friends and relatives who have crossed over. Send them good thoughts and remember to keep them in your prayers.

Halloween is a time to honor and pay attention to the lessons that your ancestors have given you. Halloween is a time for meditating on what gifts your loved ones have left you.

We celebrate what our ancestors have given us. We remember the dead and know that our children will remember us. This allows us to celebrate LIFE.

Past Life Regression: Leadership & Bravery

It's been a while since I posted. I've been happily busy with getting certified in Hypnotherapy that I haven't had the chance to post. Okay, enough excuses and let's get started...

This past weekend I had a past life regression through hypnosis. I didn't think it could work, but of course, it did! I was guided to find a vehicle of my choice and go back in time to another life....

Here's how it went down:

I saw myself in some kind of time machine. The inside looked like a scene from Back To The Future where there were digital numbers of the years and lots of buttons. When I was guided to get out of the vehicle, I stepped out. I looked down at my feet and saw boots made of rawhide material. I looked at my clothes and realized that I was a man. I wore long pants and a long sleeve V-neck top. My neck was covered with beads. My face was painted but not sure how it looked, but I knew that my face was painted. I was asked if there were anyone there. I noticed it was night time, and there was a large bonfire in the center. I saw many people looking at me with fear. I could see their faces and they were waiting for me to decide. I realized that we were being under attack by another tribe and I was the leader for my tribe. They wanted to hear from their leader about what to do next. I knew that if I decided to go into battle everyone in my tribe were going to get killed. I decided that I sacrifice myself to the other tribe so that my tribe would not get attacked. During this whole time in hypnosis, I was crying hard... Tears just kept coming down my face. I was scared but I knew I what I had to do. I had to be brave. The next thing I saw was me going forward and meeting the other tribe. I watched arrows hit me and I was killed instantly.

It was so powerful! I was so amazed with how clear the vision was. I didn't understand why I was shown that time of my past life, but I knew that there's a reason for that. I thought about all evening Saturday, and when I woke up Sunday morning, I understood...

My spirit guide has guided me to help others. Some of the things I've been told was to lead and be brave. I have had a fear of public speaking for many, many years. Through hypnosis, and my willingness to overcome the issue, I have learned to face it. I can't honestly tell you that I'm not exactly completely over it but I have improved quite a bit. I was shown in my past life I'm a leader, and I'm brave - I've been there already. I can do it again... except less the arrows, of course (Yikes!).... I can be brave and I can also be a leader, to enlighten people's lives in many ways.

Stereotype Psychic: Please don't judge a book by its cover!

Is this what a psychic really looks like?

When I see some of my clients for the first time, I notice the surprise look in their faces when I open the door. I find it remarkable how many people expect a middle aged woman wearing a loose fitting dress with bangles, earings, and of course, the turban to open the door to greet them!

One of my clients asked me: "Hi, is your mother home?" When I told her that I'm Maria Haswell - she paused for a second, and looked at me up and down before she politely reached her hand out and said "Nice to meet you, I didn't expect you to be so normal."

I live in the suburbs and I consider my house to be warm and inviting with modern art hanging on walls. I don't have a colorful beaded curtain, a crystal ball, and definitely a loose fitting dress like the one you see on the picture above. I have two awesome kids (12 & 14), a husband in the software business, and a really cool dog (Shepherd mix). I consider myself a typical family house mom who cooks dinner for their family (sometimes), drive the kids around (sometimes), and do wife duties (sometimes) - LOL! I have everyday normal issues like everyone else.

One of my clients said to me the other day when I met him was that he was expecting an older lady with long gray hair, wearing a long dress with birkenstocks on. It made me laugh but it also made me think about how many people stereotype psychics, mediums, tarot readers like me out there... I wonder if I wore "the part" would I get more clients? Then as quickly as I wonder it stops because I know that I have to be ME. I'm proud to be who I am and what I represent. It is definitely entertaining sometimes to see clients surprised - I just laugh and I say - "Please don't judge a book by its cover!"

I end my post with a quote by Travis Smiley:
"Take your focus off of how others see you. Cease being obsessed with the need to impress your friends and your foes. Keep your concern on the vision you see in the mirror. Don't allow the approval of others to obstruct your view of you."

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It!

This morning I thought about what I should write about in my post today. I thought for a long time and I finally got it after scanning through some inspirtational quotes.

Here's one for the day by Abraham -Hicks:
"You are not here to fix anything, because nothing is broken, but everything is continually changing and expanding. Release your struggle, and seek joy and fun, and in doing so, you will align with the fantastic expanding rhythm of this Universe."

Start your day by waking up being thankful and excited for another new day ahead! Think of it as a gift that you live another day. It is certainly a blessing... Live life everyday as fun and as joyful and as if it's your last day here on earth. Amazing things happen when you see things in a different view. Don't worry about the things you cannot fix, only focus on what can be done.

Ghost Town and Me

I had the opportunity to see the movie "Ghost Town" the other night with my children.

Finally, a movie about ghosts and a medium who didn't really want to be a messenger of the other side. I won't spoil the ending for you... It was funny, light hearted, and cute! As a medium, I'm going to have to tell you, it's not quite like that - but it was very entertaining.

Ricky Gervais (the British comedian and mastermind behind "The Office,") plays as a not-so-nice, arrogant, self-centered dentist, Dr. Pincus. A horrible mishap during a routine colonoscopy left Dr. Pincus technically dead for seven minutes, and that's how he started to see and hear ghosts.

It made me think of me and my own life, and how I came into this world. You see, something amazing happened to me at birth and this is how the story goes...

The pregnancy
My three older brothers and sister were all born in the hospital. Each one came out normal with no complications. When my mother got pregnant for the fifth time, she decided to give birth at home instead of going to the hospital. At the time, she and my father thought that it was probably a good idea and that it would save alot of money, since we didn't have very much.

The mid-wife
Two weeks after the estimated arrival, I would not come out. The mid-wife that my mother had at home began to really worry about the delivery. With the advice of her mid-wife, my mother and father took the long trip by bus to the hospital.

The hospital
When they got to the hospital, the doctors decided to do an emergency C-section on my mother because I had gotten way too big to have a normal delivery. When I came out, I was pronounced dead. No pulse, no heartbeat... Now, I'm not sure how long I was gone for but from how my sister described it, it was hours.

The box
My parents didn't have alot of money and couldn't afford to buy a coffin to put me in, so they decided to buy an oridinary shipping box so that they could take my body back to their village. My father went out to purchase a box and on his way, he went to Catholic church and knelt down before the Virgin Mary and prayed.

The prayer
My father prayed and asked the blessed virgin Mary to send him a miracle of life for his daughter. I was told that my father made a "deal" with the blessed Mary as he prayed. The deal was that if Mary would make his daughter live, he would name his daughter after her (Maria)... When he finished his prayer, he realized he had forgotten something in the hospital. He went back to the hospital.

The miracle
As he watched my dead body lay there, I could just imagine how he heartbroken he must've been. A miracle happened as he arrived and that I started to cry... My parents and doctors were in much amazement and shock. Hence, that is where I got the name "Maria" from.

Is this possible?
Yes. A talented intuitive councelor once told me that perhaps the spirits were switched during birth. The reason being was possibly because it was me that was meant to be here to do this kind of work.

Long story short
So when I told my mother and sister that I was hearing things, and that I am doing this kind of work, there were no surprises. It made sense to them that this is what I should be doing in this lifetime.

In Memoriam

One of my best friend's father, Duncan, passed away Monday, 9.15.08 in the hospital.

Having been married for 53 years, he left behind his loving wife, two sons, and three daughters. Duncan's physical body may not exist anymore, but he is still with his family and friends through his spirit and energy.

As he left his body, he went through a transitioning period. I'm not quite sure how long the process lasts, but I feel that it's quicker than what we may think.

Here is what I saw as I think about his transition. He sees a magnificent loving light that leads him to a reunion with a past loved one. There, he is met by his mother, who's been anxiously waiting for his arrival. They walk through this room, which looks sort of like a movie theatre, only to find out that it's a private viewing. The movie plays, and it is about Duncan. How he lived his life, his struggles, success, love, family. He realizes a few mistakes but is comforted by Universal light of love. It is an amazing experience for him. He laughed, he cried, he accepted. What seems to be a long 70+ years of his life seemed so short and so quick to end after seeing this movie.

When I think about his transition, I also reflect on my own life. I ask myself questions about how I'm living.

Will I like the movie I view?

My spirit guide speaks and this is what he says as I ask about my own life:

"Don't worry about how you lived your past. There is no need to look back to any challenges you may have had unless it serves a positive purpose on what is going on today.

Your life as a human physical being is still functioning. Since your physical being is still functioning, do what is good for humanity. It is never too late to make a positive affirmation with the Universe, God. Today fixes whatever happened before and in whatever happens in the future.

Focus on your life today, and every day.

Enjoy the moment that you are in. Love yourself and love others. Do good deeds. Appreciate the beauty in everything you see, hear, feel, and sense.

Everyone is connected by God. The more you practice on taking the moment to love and appreciate your existence, the easier to understand the connection as one with God.

Make daily affirmations. Make today a beautiful day. Celebrate life, your family, your children, your friends, your life lesson teachers. Forgive and let go, there is no need to hold on to what happened in the past. Acknowledge the importance of each person around you. Be happy and content. You have everything you need and want. For every unappealing thought that you come across during the day, let it pass through your mind, and let go. Once you let go, double the thoughts in your mind with goodness and love to make up for the unappealing thought."

NOW is Today

With the suggestion of many friends and clients, I finally picked up the audio book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle...

I am very much enjoying the book.

Because of my busy schedule with work, school, family, and friends, I bought the audio book so I can save some time. I'm very glad that I did, but I do have to mention that the audio book may not be suitable for everyone. Eckhart Tolle has a very quiet and almost monotone voice as he reads his book. This may put many people to sleep. So far, I have been able to hang in there because the words that he speaks are so beautiful and so right on with what I believe.

The book focuses on what 'today' brings rather than tomorrow or yesterday. I've personally been working on focusing on what today brings. It's been really good and I think as I practice everyday, the better it will get. Thinking about yesterday no longer serves a purpose. Let go of what happened in the past. Tomorrow hasn't come yet, so therefore, there is nothing to worry about. Today is what is important because tomorrow may never even come.

Celebrate today. Celebrate life. Celebrate the moment.

"When you make the effort to pay attention to the sights, sounds, smells, and sensations around you, you're encouraging yourself to live in the present moment."

- Deepak Chopra, MD

My Soul Mate : My Love

Seven years ago from today, I married my soul mate.

I married my best friend.

He is my strength.
He is my life.
He is my love.
He is my husband.

I am so happy to have found the love of my life. It took me two wrong relationships to find happiness.

I believe that the Universe must have put us together for a reason. We fit together, pefectly.

He loves Khaela & Ryan.
He loves me.
He understands me.
He supports me.

To the love of my life...

You are my inpiration. My backbone. Thank you for always supporting me all through the years. It is truly amazing how our love grows more and more each day. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for always reminding me how much you love me. I am a lucky woman to have such a perfect husband. I love you, always...

Happy 7th Anniversary, my love!

Circle of Friends

We all have a circle of friends. For some of us, we have many different circles. Some are bigger than others but they are all connected by you.

Appreciate your friends.
Love your friends.
Be thankful they exist.

I held another montly East Bay Spiritual Circle: Share, Learn, and Enlighten! event last night to support spiritual awareness and get to know other spiritual beings.

Everyone in the group had something to offer. Everyone had something to share. Reiki was given to some members, and while some received intuitive readings, and spirit messages.

It is so beautiful that there are very many like-minded individuals in the world who share the same thoughts, the same feelings, the same energy as you. Find them and cherish every moment.

Be in the love and light around people who share the same interests.
Be open and share your abilities and your thoughts.
Be kind and giving.

“Imagine what a harmonious world it could be if every single person, both young and old, shared a little of what he is good at doing.”
- Quincy Jones

a Small Medium at Large

If I went back 15 years ago before I even had my first born, and said to myself; "I am going to be a spiritual medium when I'm 35 and I'm going to help so many people"... I would've I laughed at myself and thought "Never in a million years."

As I sit here and think of how my life has changed, I'm thankful.

From having deep emotional issues with my family.
From being homeless.
From having painful emotional loss of my dear father.
From having a painful divorce.
From being a single mom (twice).

I'm thankful.

To finding happiness and joy.
To finding a new loving family that accepted me after being homeless.
To having two wonderful children.
To finding love again.
To finding forgiveness.
To finding peace & joy.

I'm Thankful.

I've always had a feeling that I can hear and feel people who have passed on as a young child. I kept this to myself for a long time, and assumed that I just had a very good imagination. What would my family and relatives think? What would my friends think?

After my dad passed away in 1994, I began to search for answers as to what happens on the other side. I felt the need to know that my dad was ok. I wanted to talk to him. I read books, listened to CDs, watched spiritual videos. I began to feel my dad after awhile, and I started to see him in my mind's eye. I started to have conversations with him. The more I practiced, the more I started to hear clearer. I started to hear other relatives that passed on and shortly after, I started to hear and feel other spirits.

I started to do readings for my friends. I would begin by reminding them "Now, look, I'm not a professional psychic medium, but I see your 'Aunt May' standing next to you and here's her message to you........". Everytime I would have this experience, my friends would be shocked and would ask me how the heck I knew so many personal things... I didn't know how it happened or why, it just did!

I was always a skeptic for myself especially because I thought that this was just an imagination. I would go on about the messages to my friends, and they would confirm the messages to be true and accurate. As years passed, the messages were getting stronger and more audible. I started to give messages to extended friends and then some relatives.

Each message is important. It may not be important me, but to the person receiving the message. After my father passed, I really needed answers. I am thankful that I can talk to him whenever I need him and know that he is there listening.

When my spirit guide "showed up" in my bedroom that morning and said to stop what I'm doing and be a medium full time.... I began to get tingles and felt that this was my true life calling. At first, I wasn't sure what to do. But with trust and faith, I am where I am supposed to be.

Happy.
Giving.
Peace.
Joy.
Love.

No Pressure...

When you work with love and sincerity, there are no worries, no pressure.

A few weeks ago, I was asked to do a medium reading for a documentary film director, Mark Wexler.

At first, I was baffled why they would choose me to do this film. I thought that there are so many other famous mediums out there that they could've picked for this film, and then, they chose me...

Why me?

The answer: Why Not?

I thought about it for a while before actually returning the call. With my spirit guide, I was reminded that it does not matter how other mediums work and what styles they have. We all work with the best intention. With that said, I realized that I'm just as good as other famous mediums, and in fact, I may even be better. I say this with alot of respect to many famous mediums.

My favorite mediums are John Edward and John Holland. They have inspired me throughout the years by watching them, reading their books, listening to their radio show. They made me realize that this is normal. This is not at all scary as how some people may view it. It is a part of life. They exist! Unfortunately, the media paints a whole different twist to make it scary (sigh).

We all have different styles. We all have a different approach. The one thing that stays the same for all sincere mediums, is this; when you work with the highest and best intention to help others, spirits come through. It doesn't matter how old a medium is, what gender, what their nationalities are. Spirits don't descriminate :-)

When the film crew came over, I was nervous at first. The picture at the top is me and Mark Wexler sitting at my table. The film crew were setting up and getting everything prepared while we talked. They set up the cameras and lights in my dining room. It was a very wild experience to say the least.

When the lights turned on, the little red light from the camera came on. I froze... I started to stutter my words... Then about a minute or two, I felt a really nice woman standing next to me as she said "Don't worry dear, it's just the camera - do what you're supposed to do" Shortly after that, I relaxed and did what I was there to do. I realized that there was no pressure. As a spiritual medium, I am there to help clients connect with their loved ones on the other side. Cameras and lights does not exist where spirits are and it's not important to them. Spirits have a way to come through. I was there to help Mark Wexler connect with the person he wanted to connect with for the film.

All went well.
All was good.
All was peace.
All was love.

The documentary will be at Sundance Film Festival early next year and in theatres nationwide.

Flowering

I'm a member of the Chamber of Commerce in Danville, CA. I've been a member of the chamber for 2 years - not to promote what I do now, but for my past/previous business as a FoundValue eBay Trading Assistant.

With the chamber, I also joined a business networking group. The idea for joining a networking group is to give referrals for each other and maybe drum up some business. Within the group, there's a lawyer, realtor, designer, organizer, finance, marketing, doctor, banker, insurance, and so many other positions to name and then, there's me......

As a Spiritual Medium, Reiki Master, Tarot, and (soon-to-be) Hypnotherapist - I wasn't sure if I would get funny looks... They, of course, didn't do that. I think the people in the group are wonderful professionals - and I think that's why I stayed with the group. For some of them, they probably don't even know what Medium or Reiki is. I finally "came out" today at the morning meeting and explained my change of business and how I accepted my life calling...

WOW - What a relief that was! Although, I noticed something about my experience today.

My voice was cracking the whole time I was introducing myself. I was really nervous. My heart was pulsating so hard, I had forgotten to breathe. That 30-second introduction felt like it was 30 minutes!!

But Why??

For those who know me, they can't believe me when I tell them how shy I am. They have a hard time seeing me in that dimmed light. For some, they think that I'm warm, personable, always smiling, and very easy to talk to. They see me talk to groups of people with confidence. They see me give hugs and welcome others who are shy and quiet. I want to be like that all the time. I want to be how my friends see me all the time, anywhere and whatever the situation that I'm in.

I'm not embarrassed of who I am or what I do. I know that I can help people. I know that there are many people out there that may need me and others like me. I am doing my part to educate, enlighten, and inspire others... So, why have these feelings?

In two weeks, I am doing a 15-20 minute business highlight for the networking group. I have the intent to be clear, easy to understand, and with confidence. Maybe, the group can learn something that they're not so used to hearing or have lack of knowledge in this subject. I'm guided by my spirit guide. I know that all will be okay. Just Trust and Let Go...

For my blog readers: please send me good thoughts and energy as I work on finding ways to not be so shy. Send me an email if you have suggestions!

Smiling: A Guided Meditation by Juan Vega

I am enjoying my hypnotherapy class so much... I'm learning so many things!

The students in my class are all wonderful, loving people. I'm blessed and so happy to be in the same energy with all of them.

One of the things we do to start the class is to meditate. Each student signed up to do a guided meditation for the class. I enjoyed last week's meditation so much I asked my classmate if he would send me a copy to share.

This guided meditation is by Juan Vega - a wonderful, loving spiritual being:

Just find a safe and comfortable position and let your eyes close….

take a nice deep cleansing breath in…

fill your lungs up and exhale out slowly…

breathing as you relax…

relaxing as you breathe. Inhale relaxation…

and as you exhale release all the stress, tension and strain.

Take a deep breath in… hold it…and let it out slowly…

feeling your body starting to relax.

Breathe in…and out. in…and out. in…and out.

Bring forth in your mind the energy of smiling. Use your powers of visualization to create an image that makes you feel like smiling.

You might imagine before you the face of a loved one beaming love towards you.

The image could be of your own smiling face, or a memory of a time when you felt love and peace.

Perhaps you would like to imagine the beautiful face of a divine being shining love upon you.

Hold the image in mind as you continue to breathe slowly and calmly.

Feel the welling in your heart as the image stimulates your emotional response.

Allow your heart to open to the smiling.

Allow yourself to smile back at the image.

The change in your facial muscles may be very slight, but let a peaceful, loving expression overtake you.

Continue to feel the smiling energy. You can place your smile anywhere in your body. Let this pleasant thought and feeling course through your body.

Feel it course through various organs of your body.

Send your smile to your heart, lungs, stomach, liver, kidneys, your glands, and direct your love to parts of your body that you don’t think about much.

Be whole in your compassionate smiling self.

That’s it…

just Smile. Feel the energy… loving energy swirling.

Cultivate the loving feeling that arises with a smile.

Awaken the love energy in your heart and mind.

Move into the flow of love that fills the universe.

Fill yourself with loving kindness.

Share your smile and your loving heart with people in your life.

Grow the circle of your compassion wider and wider, so that it includes yourself, and those you love.

Include those you know that you didn’t think you loved.

Grow it wider so that it includes people you don’t know,

and wider still to include people you don’t know, but you didn’t think you could love.

Send your smiling energy to everyone in the world

Shine that smile into their hearts.

Wish them greater wisdom and wish them awakening awareness of love.

Expand the scope of caring to include all beings in the universe.

Know that the force of love pervades the universe, seen and unseen.

When you love, you attune to that great force, you come into accord with the divine unity.

Develop the habit of using your inner smile to activate your loving heart.

Use it to relax your mind and body.

Use it to make friends with your world.

Register this as a state that is readily available to you.

This pleasant emotional state can be summoned, just as you would summon a memory.

You need only remember to smile

Now I’m going to count from 1 to 5 and when I get to 5, you’ll be able to come back feeling full of life and energy, with a sense of vitality, peacefulness and joy.

So coming back now—1, getting ready to open your eyes…2… feeling refreshed and alert…3, with a wonderful sense of well being and energy, 4 opening your eyes, 5 coming back now, feeling wonderful, energized and great.

I AM SMILING, SO I EXIST. YOU ARE SMILING, SO YOU EXIST. WE ARE SMILING, SO WE EXIST ALL TOGETHER.

Desperately Seeking

There is more than enough people in the world that seek your profession.

One consultant, one physician, one baker, one healer, one medium, one counselor, etc... cannot help everyone in the world.

Acknowledge your friends, your peers, your circle and know that each and everyone of them possess a gift or talent that help someone in the world. You are surrounded by many talented, loving, giving people.

Tell them who they are!

Imagine a world where everyone can share their knowledge to others.
Imagine a world where everyone can recommend someone to another.
Imagine a world where everyone can see others in good light.

Share.
Give.
Enlighten.

I don't understand why some people out there would not share what they know or who they know simply because they fear that it is taking away from their own business. Remember that when you share with others what/who you know, you are helping someone.


Network with each other. There is no competition.

I end this blog with a quote from Deepak Chopra, M.D.

"The greatest secret to making money and being successful is helping other people make money and be successful."

The Wise Mind / The Higher Self

Stop and listen to what your wise mind is telling you. The wise mind is your higher self.

In my hypnotherapy class yesterday, I learned the five levels of consciousness:

The Superconscious State:

Higher Self, Light, Love, Wisdom, Peace, Compassion, Forgiveness, Healing

The Conscious Mind:

Thoughts, Everyday Actions, Logic, Judgement

The Subconscious Mind:

Vast Database or Storage House of All Life Expereinces, Traumas, Fears, Events, Obstacles, Subpersonalities, Emotions

The Unconscious Mind:

Stored Karma, Saskaras, "Impressions" from all Incarnations

The Energy System:

The Aura, The Energy Filed, Meridians, Electromagnetic, Energies, The Cosmic Force Field

Your wise mind/higher self is located in the superconscious state. There you will find no judgement of yourself. No worries. No fears. No obstacles. In your wise mind/your higher self, there is love and compassion. There is forgiveness of oneself and others.

The way to be in the supersconsious state is to meditate and listen. Another way of doing so, is by writing in a very relaxed state. Without judgement or editing, write what you feel. Write what you hear. Don't stop and think about what you are writing. Just go with the flow.

Try it!

What would your wise mind/higher self tell you today?

What Are You?

This week I met my client, Amanda. She told me that she felt "stuck" in a relationship that she was in. Amanda explained that she met this person, fell in love, had a baby, and moved in together. When her baby turned 1, her boyfriend confessed that he'd been cheating on her. Obviously, Amanda was upset when he told her. But because she depended on him, she stayed with him.

Amanda went on about how bad of a situation she was in. She didn't have a good job. The money she would earn would automatically be deposited into his bank account. She depended on him financially. She said that she didn't know what she would do if she left him. Would he go after her with revenge? She was afraid of what can happen. She wanted to leave. She wanted to be saved. She worried about the next day. What to do...

I wanted to help her. I wanted to save her. I wanted to do whatever I can to protect her. Her spirit guide came through and this is what she said:

The one and only person that can help Amanda is Amanda...

When you tell the Universe:
I'm stuck.
I don't make enough money.
I hate my job.
I have a bad relationship.

You are getting exactly what you say you currently have. You focus so much on your energy and feelings towards what you don't want, rather than what you could do to make things better.

Instead of focusing on what you don't want, focus on what you already have that is absolutely wonderful.

I'm beautiful.
I have so much to offer.
I have a healthy child.
I can breathe, walk, and see.
I have another day to live.

When you change your emotions, you take control of what the the day ahead of you brings. Plan out your day joyfully. Make your day count, for there may not be a tomorrow.

If you are on an emotional roller coaster, find out which feelings are driving you. Did you know that just as colors and sounds have a range, so do feelings?

I found a list of emotional feelings online:

Victim feelings
These feelings lead us to crying in distress for a hero to save us.
Feeling like quitting and running away to hide
Feeling of being controlled
Feeling hurt or taken advantage of
Feeling of being manipulated
Feeling of being shocked or surprised
Feeling disillusioned - naïve - rejected - unwanted
Feeling shame - inadequate - anguish - guilty
Feeling a deep sense of loss - afraid - giving up
Feeling needy - helpless - fragile - hopeless
Feeling confused - depressed - like dying

Villain feelings
These feelings lead us to harmful actions if not dealt with.
Feeling like harming someone
Feeling pleasure in having hurt someone
Feeling abusive - malicious - destructive - revengeful
Feeling justified - cruel - mean - hateful - arrogant
Feeling superior - critical - judgmental - accusing
Feeling rage - angry - upset - hard - emotionally cold

Hero/Heroine feelings
These feelings are our reward for saving others. Once we’ve helped others enough times, usually we learn to become our own hero. That’s when we feel these feelings most of the time, not only when we have just saved someone else.

Feeling love - important - compassionate - acceptance
Feeling wanted - useful - resourceful
Feeling of adventure - of caring - of courage - of happiness
Feeling accepted - in control - strong - passionate - helpful
Feeling enthusiastic - passionate - determined - capable

I end this blog with a quote by Sylvia Browne:

"Try to avoid thinking about what you're not: 'I'm not happy, not rich, not good-looking,' and so on. Instead think about what you are: 'I am joyful; I am prosperous; I am beautiful.' Your self-esteem will rise immeasurably."

Campaign for Love & Forgiveness

Yesterday, I found this great website called: Campaign for Love & Forgiveness. I found it very comforting and thought I should add this to my blog. I hope that it can help others let go of the past. I talk about my past in my blog, not because I hold on to it, but rather, to help inspire others. I have a very interesting story about struggle & triumph.

I face everyday challenges, but this time, I let it pass me quickly and not worry so much. Having said that, I am not perfect - far from it. There are still things that I carry around but I do work hard in finding ways to let go, one by one. When times that I can't seem to let go quickly, I give my worries to God and know that it will be ok.

I end my blog with quotes from Caroline Myss and Peter Occhiogrosso:

"How much of your precious day do you invest in the past? Everything from your past except wisdom and love has long since served its purpose. Witness what calls to you from yesterday and why."

"Today is for observation. Where does your mind wander naturally - into fear or fantasy, humor or stress? Follow your mind, and observe where it goes to feed itself. Do you like what you see?"

At 21 years old...

At 21 years old...

I thought I was old enough.
I thought I knew everything.
I thought I would be loved.
I thought I was in love.

At 21 years old...

I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.
I gave trust to the father of my child.
I gave my feelings of hope and wishful thinking.
I gave myself heartache.

At 21 years old...

I realized I was never going to be alone anymore.
I realized that my daughter depended on me.
I realized that I had to grow up - FAST.
I realized that I had to stay strong.

The father of my child left me when I was 6 months pregnant. He cheated on me while I was pregnant and told me he didn't want me to have the baby anymore. I was hurt. I was angry. I felt alone during my pregnancy. He did not support me during the pregnancy. So many emotions... so much pain... so much anger...

Why did God want this to happen? I asked...

Because it taught me to be strong.
Because it taught me to be independent.
Because it taught me to know the meaning of love.
Because it taught me to ask God for help.

I've learned that the father of my child was one my teachers to teach me life lessons.

He taught me to be patient.
He taught me what love is not.
He taught me that betrayals existed.
He taught me to forgive.

For my teacher:
The one who hurt me.
The one who played me.
The one who disrespected me.
Thank you for teaching me ways to improve my life. I wouldn't be where I am today without you...

National MS Society - Make a Difference

The National MS Society addresses the challenges of each person living with MS. In 2006 alone, through the national home office and 50 state network of chapters, nearly $126 million was devoted to programs that enhanced more than one million lives to move us closer to a world free of MS, the Society also invested more than $46 million to support 380 research projects around the world.

My best friend registered for the MS Waves to Wine Ride on September 13-14, 2008. I hope that you can donate money to this great cause. He needs $170 to make his goal. If you make a donation, I will credit $10 off to your next private session (Medium, Reiki, or Tarot).

Please click on the link to donate: http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=4358528&pg=personal&fr_id=9066

Countless Birthday Gifts

I feel blessed everyday. I have all that I need and all that I want. I woke up to a brand new day. Today is my birthday, and it's a time to reflect on all the many blessings I've received so far. I celebrate my day filled with gratitude. I thank God that I made it through another night. I woke up to my love next to me.

This morning, Ryan opened our bedroom door with Charlie giving me a big lick in the face (ech!)... Mark, Khaela, and Ryan sat on the bed while they watched me open my cards and gifts. Charlie was also in our room sleeping (lol)... I got so many wonderful gifts. Most of all, I know that I am loved by my family. They give me so much love everyday.


I am thankful for all the wonderful gifts. There are so many things to thank for, but here are just a few:

1. My 36th year of existence.


2. I'm healthy - no pain, no aches.


3. I can see, hear, smell, and sense.


4. My love of my life, Mark, who supports me in everything I do.


5. My beautiful daughter, Khaela, who teaches me to be strong.


6. My wonderful son, Ryan, who give me love everyday.


7. My coolest dog ever, Charlie, who makes me smile.


8. My great friends, who I can always count on.


9. Preying Thunder, my spirit guide who guides me to my journey.


10. My home, to keep me safe - day & night.


11. My teachers, who teach me life lessons everyday.

There are hundreds of things I can list...

I'm thankful for this day, that I live in the light of God.

Who's in Control?

Stop.

Listen.

Breathe.

Enjoy.

Remember to stop and listen to what surrounds you. Quiet your mind. Take a moment to realize you're not alone. You are loved. You are cared for. Energy surrounds us everyday.

You are in control of what the day ahead brings. Try your best to find joy in everything you do. Find the time to stop and listen. Don't forget to breathe. Change your feelings when things go bad. I personally, have moments when I think I'm way too busy to do something. It's practice and determination.


You can't control others, even at times when you wish you could. You can only control YOU. Never mind what others have or don't have. Find happiness, find joy.


Accept and let go. Don't hold a grudge. When someone hurts you, send them loving thoughts in return. Remember that the best teachers to give you life lessons are the people who hurt you.


I end this blog with a quote from Iyanla Vanzant:

"Until today, you may have been holding on to something or someone, not realizing that its purpose in your life has been served. Just for today, surrender all attachments to the people and things you've been struggling to hold on to."

How I Became A Medium: Trust and Patience

I had 2 online businesses before I accepted my life calling as a spiritual medium. I owned a party favors business called Happy Times Designs for 7.5 years. I created and designed party favors for all occasions and would sell it online nationwide and retail stores around the bay area. In the past 2 years, I also added another business as an eBay Trading Assistant with a company called, FoundValue. Both businesses were doing very well. It kept me busy and it helped with paying the bills. I enjoyed both of them very much.

All my life, however, I've always heard voices and sensed other spirits around me and other people. I struggled to believe what I was feeling, hearing, and seeing was right. I really wasn't sure if I was just imagining everything in my head...

I told only a few close friends that I trusted about my abilities. I was really worried about what people would think of me if I told them what I heard, sensed, and felt. I didn't want people to think I was crazy... As years pass, it felt that my ability to hear, feel, and sense were getting stronger.

One morning, I was upstairs in my room working on my laptop, listing things on eBay when suddenly, my spirit guide showed up in my room. I can't see him physically, but I knew his presence. He said "Time to close shop. It's time for you to do what you are supposed to be doing with your life" - I was so flabbergasted to hear what I heard. I thought about it for a few hours that day. Into the evening I told my husband what I had heard that morning. We both were a little reluctant about closing my businesses and not having enough money to cover our bills. We were a little hesitant, but, we both knew that it was the right thing to do.

When I closed my businesses, I had questions for my spirit guide and he answered them:

Q: How will people find me?

A: Trust and Patience

Q: How will I get my name out there?

A: Trust and Patience

Q: How will people act when I tell them what I do?

A: Trust and Patience

When I finally heard his answers, I did what I was told... He first helped me with creating a myspace account. With very little knowledge of html codes, I was able to design a myspace page within 1 hour, with of course, the help of my spirit guide. I couldn't have designed it that fast if it was just me... He guided me to meet the right people at the right time. He guides me in all my everyday life, even while I post my blog.

I trust.

Trust is important in my work, and without it, I can't be what I am today. When I began to trust, amazing things happened. All GREAT things happened!

Remember to trust and be patient - all things happen at the right time.

Cold Box ~ Warm Heart

April of Last year, I was encouraged by my spirit guide to share my story about my experiences. I started to write some of the things on a word document but didn't know what I would do with them afterwards. Over a year later, here I am...

I am going to copy and paste a couple of stuff that I wrote here on my blog.

I hope it helps anyone reading this to have faith, all will be okay!

Quietly I lay in this dark cold box. I could see my warm breath as I exhale through the cold air. The sound of cars passing through with their headlight shining towards me, I prayed. “Please watch over me and keep me safe” I requested. I quietly laid there almost motionless, as I gloomily asked Him how I ended up inside the trunk of a 1987 Chevy Corsica. Where do I go from here?

Waking up to the shine of another lovely day, I thanked Him. The beauty of God shined before me as I sat behind the wheel to reflect on my new day. My frail cold fingers ran between my frozen strands. My stringy hair at times had icicles on the end - the size of tiny teardrops. A calming voice told me daily that I’d be okay and to hang on to what little I had. But I would ask again, where do I go from here?

My family and small group of friends knew nothing about my ordeal. I didn’t want to go back to where I came from. I felt that I could handle this on my own as I had a strong belief that God would be there even in bad times. With these feelings, I felt secure to move on. With no home, no job, and feeling alone at age nineteen was frightening. Where do I go from here?

Six moths have passed as I continued to call my Corsica my home. The dark night welcomed me as I drove around for new surroundings to call it an evening. As I passed by neighborhood homes, nearby gas stations, not one was safe enough for me to park. I headed towards a parking lot and saw a familiar face. An acquaintance I’ve met months before. He came towards me as I nervously smiled at him hoping he wouldn’t see right through me. With a friendly smile, he stated that he hadn’t seen me for a while. “Where have you been, where are you staying?!” he demanded. I struggled to come up with an answer. I heard a voice telling me to tell him the truth. Not understanding why I heard what I heard, I glanced back at this friendly face as I started to stutter. My voice was shaky and I teasingly said, “You’re looking at it!” I began to laugh as if it was not a big deal. What came over me? I was so embarrassed that I told him where I had lived. I was ready to drive off and shake off my humiliation.

An awkward silence, he looked at me with pity. As I watched him look at me, he asked me to give him a ride home from work. He offered me a dinner at his home and asked me to stay the night. Because I was hungry and haven’t eaten a good meal for a while, I sheepishly accepted to have dinner but graciously declined the overnight stay.

Walking up the winding stairs, I began to miss how it was like to live at home. The warmth of the heater subtly blowing through my neck made me feel sheltered. I sat on the comfortable couch looking around the cozy living room. My friend sat with me as he tried to entertain me with pictures of his family. He told me that his parents would be home soon and we would eat with them. I heard the door open and close as I started hearing footsteps coming up from the stairs. My nerves began to shake and I started to feel uncomfortable. “What would they think of me?” I thought. I was ready to leave and stood up off the couch and started to tell David that I was ready to leave.

As I started to tell David how anxious I had become, his parents stopped right in front of me. They stood there smiling at me as I reached over to shake their hands. David proudly introduced me as his friend and that I would be staying for dinner with them that night. His parents smiled at me with acceptance.

The taste of home cooked meal felt like paradise. The warm bread rolls were soft and fluffy. As I sat there eating my delicious meal, I started to feel the love the family had for each other. They respected each other and laughed together as they joyfully talked about their day’s end. I witnessed something that I haven’t seen for a very long time with my own family. They shared their stories with me as we sat in the dinning room. I learned that David had three older brothers and one sister.

I started to reflect on what happened to my family and why things happened the way they did. I sat there and accepted what was in front of me and I felt blessed. Dinner ended and I excused myself to the restroom to wash my hands. As I opened the door from the restroom, David’s parents blocked my way to the stairs. They stood there quietly for 10 seconds for what felt like 5 minutes and had a concerned look on both their faces. They asked me where I lived and I told him just around the block. As I told them my somewhat fib, I noticed that David was spreading out the bed sheets in a room. I started to feel very uncomfortable. I knew David told them. I felt ashamed and started to cry. David's mother hugged me and assured me that I would be okay.

What was supposed to be just an overnight stay turned into a 2-year stay. They accepted me into their family and helped me get back on my feet. I knew God watched over me, and I believed He would never leave me alone - He never did!